Feminist Cooks Bread From Vaginal Yeast

Again, I am convinced they have a deep programming which even they are not aware of:

In preparation for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, you’re probably seeing a lot of self-help articles about managing stress, dealing with unpleasant family members, and most importantly, making it through the day in one piece.

And while there’s no doubt that all of this advice is well-intentioned, sometimes, when the shit is hitting the fan and your uncle is being a sexist piece of garbage, you have to do something to regain control and remind yourself that you’re a badass bitch who no one can fuck with. And there’s no better way to do that than serving an asshole a slice of truly homemade bread…leavened with the yeast of your own vagina.

But does such a recipe even exist? Yes, it does, thanks to feminist blogger Zoe Stavri, who, after getting a pretty bad yeast infection, had the inspired idea to turn her discomfort into delicious baked goods.

Waking up on Saturday with the familiar itchy burny fanny, I giggled to myself, “Maybe I could make bread with that,”
Zoe writes on her blog, Another Angry Woman. “And that ticked into, ‘Well, I’ve always wanted to try making my own sourdough anyway,’ and then a ‘Fuck, would that even work?’ And then I got curious, and the next thing that happened was I was scraping white goop off of a dildo into a bowl of flour mixed with water.

Imagine the lucky guy who is going to latch onto that one. She pretty much just excused herself from ever having to cook any meal, and given her personality I am not sure what other selling points she may have. If I were her I would begin working on my cat collection now.

I am convinced that the r-strategist suite of instincts, at some point, picked up programming designed to expose themselves to illness, and engage in behaviors designed to spread such disease to people around them. A part of me wonders if some early r-strategists which did this enjoyed particular advantage as they migrated into new populations that were already high in resources, and then spread a pandemic that would wipe out most of the population, leaving them in a freshly depopulated region laden with free resources.

Think about it. Criminals, terrorists, migrant savages, man-eating sharks, jogger-eating cougars, venomous snakes, alligators, and on and on. The same people who support aborting Down’s syndrome babies will leap to the defense of all of the above, and engage in weird, disgusting behaviors that are almost guaranteed to spread disease. What do all of those things have in common? They are behaviors which will thin out populations, and they are being exhibited by individuals whose general psychology is similar to, if not identical to, the reproductive strategy which requires a high mortality to thrive.

And then there are the rabbits, mice, and other r-strategists of nature, who require the massive mortality of constant predation to remain as r-strategists.

I feel as if it is all just too coincidental.

Spread r/K Theory like you are a liberal smearing a vaginal yeast covered dildo all over a buffet

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6 years ago

[…] Feminist Cooks Bread From Vaginal Yeast […]

Timothy Zak
6 years ago

Mr. A. Conservative,
You would think it would be cheese. Now there is a commercial idea you could sell: To affluent women’s studies university professionals and students in coffee shops near their, uh, institutions.
Regards,
Flicking amygdalas,
Timothy Zak

Duke Norfolk
6 years ago

Yes, the disgust impulse has completely left this despicable animal. Bring on the apocalypse.

John Morris
6 years ago

Makes you wonder if that is how the discovery happened. One woman somewhere is the mists of time scratched herself ‘down there’ because it was itching, she then went back to working the bread dough…. and something new happened.

But yea, yuck! I’ll pass on trying some, especially considering the likelihood of yeast being the least dangerous thing in the average feminist who would do this.

dirkhblog
Reply to  John Morris
6 years ago

Yeast is also in Saliva. That’s how pulque is fermented. You suck cactus juice and spit it into a bowl and let it sit and it ferments.
So that’s likely how it got discovered.