It would seem another theme developing is a sort of organized porn exposure. I am not clear if this is a phenomenon among GATE kids, or if this is a more broad phenomenon of organized porn exposure run by the local neighborhood surveillance/intelligence operations.
Regardless, the accounts we have accumulated are suspicious enough I will document them here.
It began with this comment:
Can someone explain “early sexualization of the young” and what exactly this does psychologically? I would prefer that this be explained in naturalistic terms using psychology. There may be a spiritual element at play as well, but I’m not interested in that.
There’s a few examples I can think of. I know two brothers who I believe were targeted who in their teens took turns having sex with their mom’s maid. And I’d bet that maid was placed in their home by cabal. I didn’t know the brothers well, but what little I did know of them led me to believe that they would not have used coercion. And let’s face it, most teenage boys would have difficulty resisting the advances of an attractive live in maid.
There’s other examples I can think of. One of my early cabal handlers gifted my father with a subscription to Playboy when I was like 12. I really thought nothing about it at the time, and I’m sure my father didn’t. In retrospect, since that cabal handler injected so much mischief in our lives I can’t believe that this wasn’t part of the deal.
So what does early sexualization do? Lead to hyper sexualization? Inability to form long-term pair bonds? Any other likely psychological changes?
I wrote:
My guess is your handler got your dad that subscription for you, and he was trying to get you hooked on the dopamine of sex, maybe to make you more controllable, or predictable, and maybe to weaken you somehow.
But this jogged a memory, and the next day I decided to write this, after quoting the comment above:
As I pointed out early sexualization tends to r-ify a person through the remodeling of the amygdala triggered by it. In short, it can produce like a porn addiction, but that addictive factor can also extend to anything, and probably expands out into other r-traits like time-preference considerations, confrontational nature, steadfastness, tolerance of hardships, and so on. Porn is a good way to weaken a society, though effects individual to individual will probably vary. I am exceptionally hardship and pain tolerant, so I have always assumed I could do a cocaine bender, get addicted, and stop cold turkey, and while it would not be fun, I would be fine and could go on as if nothing happened. I think I would be fine with the hardship of withdrawal. But others, probably not so much.
Now my story. There was this kid who lived over on an isolated dead end road by the beach which was a hive of Cabal families. I knew him in passing, and liked him. He was a nice kid and wasn’t a bully to anyone. He kept to himself, and was a wrestler, so we got along when we saw each other. Quiet kid. But I had one of those “chance” run-ins with him years later after high school, so obviously now, I have suspicions. I’m about ten or eleven in school, outside a classroom. This kid runs up to me, and begins telling me out of the blue he was burglarizing his neighbor’s garage and… (like, “So I was going out the front door for the paper this morning, and…” Bear in mind, he was a nice, moral kid who did not strike me as a victimizer of any sort, or prone to burglary. He was not a thrill seeker either.). He found the neighbor had boxes and boxes of Playboy magazines, and he proceeded to go through all them and cut out all the pictures of the girls. He then pulls out a manila folder that was like an inch and a half thick, stuffs it in my chest and says he wants me to have these, and then he takes off, as I am still trying to process he was burglarizing his neighbor’s garage. I look in, and it is all naked ladies. The first thing I was thinking was if a teacher catches me with this I’m going to get shit and it is going to look weird. But immediately after, I’m wondering, one, if he is burglarizing a neighbor’s house, why is he stealing playboy pictures and not looking for valuables, which is what I would assume a burglar is doing. What is he even burglarizing a neighbor’s house for, given it was a really nice neighborhood, his parents were well off, and we were all vanilla-innocent kids in that school (Plus I was always inculcated with a sense I didn’t want people violating my home, or worse, stealing my shit. And it left me with a feeling it would be less sinful to go up to a random person, and punch them in the face unprovoked, than to sneak into their home while they were out and wander around, let alone steal their stuff. He struck me as the same.) And why is he apparently getting out his scissors and taking the time to go through them, apparently for a few hours, while in a house he was not supposed to be in. Who starts making naked lady scrapbooks in the middle of a high risk burglary? And why did he bring these to me, when I really didn’t even know him that well, and I always felt he had closer friends over in that beach neighborhood where they all hung out together? It was another one of those things so weird all I could do is shake my head and file it away. Plus, this was like high risk contraband, at that age and in our geeky school, and he is bringing it to school, risking getting caught, to dump it on me and run? This was pre-internet, so if Cabal wanted to try and inculcate a porn-addiction, this would have been just about the only way, especially given my parents were strangely wary of the outside world having unfettered access to me, like at a summer camp, or with some babysitter hired out of the local paper, and I was generally non-social anyway. So now I am wondering, Playboy was a CIA/Cabal blackmail op which did double duty as a societal degenerater. And if as children we were getting psychologically molded in ways to weaken us, or enhance a third party’s ability to control us, by some shadow intel op that was tracking us in eh schools, fairly-aggressive porn exposure would make sense as something many of us who were 16 or younger in pre-internet years, would have seen attempted on us. Pretty ballsy if there were adults, who understood the powerful effects of porn on developing brains, and they were trying to use it to weaken various people and make them more controllable when they were just ten or eleven, in spite of their parent’s wishes to control that type of thing. Even more disturbing they were paying so much attention to kids, with an eye to making sure they couldn’t grow up to pose any sort of threat to their established order. And it makes you wonder if they ever repeated the process with more powerful dopamine elicitors like Coke or Heroin on some poor kid. I am wondering if this “Illicit Porn Dealer” was a common theme among GATE kids, like the “Googolplex Kid.” So if you were GATE/TAG/STEPS/enriched/or just high IQ and had an unusual experience like this, give a hollar in the comments. Anonymous comments welcomed.
This produced the following comments of others who may have seen the local network spreading porn among kids, and some interesting insights:
Re porn: I remember that porno mags were always somehow “found in the woods” That always struck me as bizarre. Some parents had Playboy subscriptions but very few. The Hustlers and whatever were found in the woods etc. Those things had to be seeded where kids played.
Ed Meese went after porn and so did FLA and it was a very popular thing. Cabal went nuts and the entire complex turned on the initiative. Absolutely nuts. Janet Reno (spit) was heavily involved in the counter attack against Meese.
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I was thinking that an additional harm for a boy entering puberty of having access to Playboy is that it makes all the girls one is likely to see at school seem ugly or unimpressive in comparison. And consequently promotes fantasy thinking, self-absorption, etc.
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I write for the first time because of a remarkable “coincidence.” In HS a guy I barely knew made an unsolicited point of hard selling me a few playboys for a quarter each. The male teen libido in me overcame the qualms of conscience. Before now, I had not considered this incident as part of the tracking. In retrospect, especially given the almost random nature of the sale, I look at it in a different light.
And I was very definitely someone to keep an eye on, for a number of reasons which would have stood out, the significance of which I could not understand until I gained much more life experience.
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I don’t know how unusual this would have been, since the ’70s was a time when the culture went rather queer and many things considered unacceptable before and after that time were promoted in popular culture. When I was a preteen, my next-door-neighbors began hiring me on Friday or Saturday evenings to babysit their young son. It was a pretty easy job, he went to bed before or right as I showed up, which was hard for him since it was exciting for him to have his “cool big kid” neighbor at his house in the evening. I remember the house being well kept up, immaculate, and having furnishings and things that I thought were a little higher class than the neighborhood in general. I was gifted but did not have an enriched education. I know my IQ was about 150 because years later I joined MENSA to meet smart women (not such a smart idea since the guys greatly outnumbered the girls in MENSA) and in order to join I took the MENSA IQ test which at the time would give you an IQ score. In fact I got two scores because they were giving us an additional IQ test on the day and in the place I took it and I tested on each side of 150. I did not succeed in life in the ways that one would expect someone of my natural abilities to succeed. Although I did not live up to my potential, I am now content, happily married, and generally happy.
On the coffee table of my neighbors’ house, there was always a copy of Penthouse, prominently displayed. I was always eager to see the new issue every month. Penthouse was very hard core compared to Playboy, and every model was photographed in gynecological poses. It had a recurring comic strip called “Chester the Molester” that normalized the molestation of preteen girls and a column containing “erotic” stories often involving sexual perversion. I loved reading, and those stories were my favorite thing in the magazine. I think that my early exposure to this damaged me in profound ways that I don’t fully understand.
The only thing in my childhood that years later seemed vaguely strange to me in a way that makes me think of surveillance, other than my neighbors corrupting me as an 11-year-old with hard core pornography, is my encounters with a particular educator, whom I will call “Mr. A”, in elementary school. He didn’t actually teach any regular classes as far as I know, and I guess he specialized in special education. One day when I was in third grade, I was sent to Mr. A to take an IQ test. Of course there was nothing unusual about that considering my high IQ. I was embarrassed to be singled out but I thought the test was fun. I had other encounters with Mr. A during my elementary school years as well.
For a period of weeks, a group of my classmates (including all of those whom I knew were the best readers) and I were sent to Mr. A every day for reading lessons that simply involved watching stories projected by a tachistoscope, after which we were given reading comprehension quizzes. It was essentially “speed reading” training. I began to find it a little disturbing because at some point the text was projected so quickly that I could not consciously read it, but I could still answer many of the comprehension quiz questions. I wondered if we were being shown messages that might somehow effect us even though we didn’t consciously see them. In the fourth or fifth grade, the four randomly mixed classes in that grade at that school would separate into low, average, and high level math classes just for math instruction. I was placed in the class that Mr. A’s wife taught which was the average level class. I cannot say that I thought there was anything unusual about that at the time, but looking back I am pretty sure that I should have been in the high-level math class. Mrs A had the same name as Mr. A of course, but I knew for sure that they were married because they just happened to be members of the very small church that my parents were members of. It was a small enough church and far enough away from our home that it was a notable coincidence. When I was in the sixth grade, a year after we moved to another place and we attended a different church, my dad took me back to the old church where I joined the other kids about my age for Sunday school. The Sunday School teacher was Mr A, and the lesson seemed pretty strange to me, being an exercise in “guided imagery.” This reinforced my impression that he was hypnotizing kids and had some hidden agenda. I wouldn’t say that I really thought that was true, but I did feel like he was some kind of spy.
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As for the porn issue. Growing up pre internet days my friends and I were the typical active kids. Playing in the woods, rampaging through the neighborhoods, etc. We stumbled on random nudie mags on multiple occasions just left in the woods or in the nooks and crannies every semi-rural neighborhood has.
It always struck me as odd until years later during the forum years of the net I started to hear similar stories about random porn being found. Hundreds of people had found porn in the alleys/woods around their neighborhoods when they were young. So much so that it being mere chance seems unlikely. This led to a lot of speculation on what sort of person just scatters this stuff around? What purpose does it serve? The phenomenon got termed the porn fairy and laughed off.
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I was considered a gifted child, but was never in a formal program like GATE. My father was a minister and so I attended our small parochial schools and then a parochial boarding school for high school. I was a self-taught reader and was reading on a high level (I believe they said 11th grade level) before I started 1st grade. Prior to first grade, I was at home, never went to a pre school or kindergarten. So they skipped me ahead a grade after I finished first grade.
I was an absolutely voracious reader, and even before I somehow taught myself (I do not know how I did this, many adults asked me when I was little), I would sit for hours looking at books. So at a very young age, I would read literally anything that I could find, it did not matter what the subject was. I ended up exposed early to many things that I was not emotionally ready for.
I’m a woman and there are, of course, innate gender differences. I was never exposed to pornographic images but I did get early exposure to ‘romance novels’ which absolutely are porn, no matter how women like to pretend to they’re different. My exposure came through some of my friends’ mothers.
I left a comment on another post about ‘Googolplex’ which was brought up by a high school teacher when I was about 15.
I won’t bore you all with my entire life story, but since I am curious about other gender differences that might have happened, I’ll try to summarize a bit more about sexuality.
I was extremely shy and self-conscious until I realized in my late teens how that was holding me back from everything I wanted to experience in life and worked very hard to overcome that. But it was a key issue during all my younger school years. When I was 6 I remember an older boy in my parochial school (he was about 13) grabbing me and hugging me and telling me I was ‘sexy,’ in front of other kids who thought it was hilarious and that I cried and cried about it to my father, as I felt dirty and embarrassed. My dad was wonderful and rarely got angry but he was furious over this and dealt with it. As he was also the minister of that church the school was attached to, he had to be careful how he dealt with it, but I can remember hearing him yelling at that boy’s father.
In spite of being shy, I did have friends, but it was difficult as the teachers in my school recognized something in me, and would have older children with difficulty reading read to me, with the expectation I would help those children and correct them. Obviously this did not endear me to the older kids, or kids my own age.
So at around 20, I lost a little bit of weight, and pushed myself to socialize and dumb myself down where necessary as I saw that people my age found something off-putting about me, and all of the sudden was being chased by men, something I had no experience with at all. I also had finally hit my stride in college, had a plan, was doing very well academically, and had a Jewish professor of organic chemistry who had taken me under his wing to mentor me (perhaps a different method than the Jewish girlfriend?). But I was so distracted by suddenly having men chase me, plus being about as innocent as it is possible to be (no sexual or romantic experience at all), plus the romance novel exposure when I was young (I do believe that played a strong role), I quickly destroyed my future in every possible way by the time I was 22. I have a strong sense of guilt and personal responsibility so I generally just look back and wonder at my stupidity, and note my utter lack of experience or female friends/ mentors who could have helped me, and wish so much there were do-overs. The breakdown that occurred with my sexual experiences led to my failing courses in college which ended that future also. I spent literal years afterwards trying to make sense of all this and praying and repenting to God for my sins.
That boy from grade school, by the way, is now quite high up in the military. I can easily find him online and was still in touch with some of his siblings until a few years ago. The men with whom I destroyed my future? All were former military. There also was a military recruiter when I was about 20 who came in the restaurant where I worked who tried very hard, for no apparent reason I could see, to recruit me and I always felt a certain vibe from him, like perhaps he was interested in me sexually. He tried hard to get me to take the ASVAB, which I made an appointment for, and then ended up canceling, because I really had no interest in joining. These men I dated and the one I married also brought up the ASVAB. I have several long-term female friends who are military wives, and who have always seemed a little too interested in me and having discussions about my views on things (and asked why I never took the ASVAB). I wondered if any other people who, like me, were not in a military family and did not live in a military town, had an unusual number of people with military ties like that who played such a strong role in important life experiences or failures.
That army recruiter showed up a couple of times in other places – at the mall, the grocery store, and so on. I think he was following me. He also had gotten my parents’ phone number and called and chatted with my dad a few times. And all of that happened not too long before 9-11. Or maybe that’s just what recruiters do, I really don’t know, to be honest.
Another thing was this pathological shyness and self-consciousness that plagued me made me something of a loner, which is rare for women. So I was often going about life alone in my late teens and early twenties. I didn’t want it to be that way, which is why I worked so hard to overcome that. But I’ve always had a few close female friends (sometimes they were long-distance) and there’s been a pattern there my whole life where a sociable, pretty, popular, girl or woman seems to zero in on me and decides to become best friends with me, overshares until I feel comfortable to return that, and quickly learns all my secrets. They have a million other friends, yet seek me out, invite me to do things, want to talk or text, etc. This has backfired on me more times than I can count, particularly with work friends. If you are familiar with love-bombing, it’s textbook, yet many of those friendships have stood the test of time, or so it appears to me. I’ve started to be able to guess someone is like this by a particular look/expression in the eyes. I think of it as crazy eyes, but it’s not quite that. It’s like a dancing intensity in the eyes, and I have begun avoiding anyone who looks at me that way. I’ve seen it in some clips of Kamala, come to think of it. There’s no lesbian undercurrents or anything like that in these friendships as far as I can tell. One such friend of 10 years told me recently out of the clear blue she wanted to be CIA or FBI and tried to get hired on with them out of college. Another friend of 20+ years also looked into CIA and has finally started a career in a law enforcement related field. Just a little strange is all.
Finally, people read me as smart, within a few minutes of meeting me, despite how quiet I am with people I don’t know, all my efforts to blend in, avoidance of the spotlight, and so on. When people perceive me as ‘other’ it creates all sorts of bizarre competitions I didn’t know I was in. One particular female coworker I had in my twenties, when she finally got fired, a detailed log was discovered on her computer of all my comings and goings, the time I left the office for errands, when I returned, what I had for lunch, etc, that she’d kept for months. [Ed Note – this is classic surveillance procedure. They log everything an observed target does with the time and anything notable about it, down to burps and passing gas.] She tried many times to set me up to get in trouble at work. Our boss saw right through her, but it still was so weird and I never knew what it was exactly about me that set her off, except from the moment we met, she went on and on about how smart I was, based on….nothing but meeting for the first time.
A couple other odd things no one ever really gets – I was extremely emotionally sensitive to music. I still am now, but handle it better than when I was a child. I often couldn’t sleep (often because one of these ‘sad’ songs was stuck in my head), had vivid dreams and nightmares, and sometimes precognitive experiences. All of that is still the case, I just handle it a lot better now than I did as a kid.
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I always wondered who just dumped porno mags (not Playboy, the stuff you have to buy in a special shop) out in the woods in random places. We were in those woods all the time, so it wasn’t like there was someone else out there all the time that we didn’t know about.
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This is kind of surreal. If you don’t recognize my handle, I’m the GATE guy who brought up the googolplex story the other day. Amazingly enough, I also had a scrap book porn kid, but he was quite a bit different than yours. It was during middle school, and there was this pimply faced dork no one really liked named Todd. I remember his name because Todd was odd, and there were no other Todds in the whole school. One day he told me had some porn (but I doubt he used that word) and was going to bring it to school tomorrow. I was curious and about twelve years old, so I excitedly met him on the soccer field, hoping to see some hot girls in playboy or other standard fare.
So the next day we meet and this kid pulls out a scrap book and starts flipping through it. He was very protective of it and did not want me flipping through it on my own. As he flipped the pages, the female anatomy I was interested in was rare. Instead, the book was filled mostly with dozens and dozens of erect cocks and lower male anatomy. Faces were never included, unless directly engaged in sexual acts. He had little interest in the male or female body (which I wanted to see) as a whole. It was mostly disembodied erect penises meticulously cut out and pasted to every page of the thick scrap book. I think it was actually a photo album, because I remember those plastic sheets covering each page. Suffice it to say, this was not what I wanted to see, so I nope’d the fuck out, and left him alone with his cornucopia of cocks. I would have been super excited to get my hands on a Playboy at the time, but this was just gross. It was striking how much work he must have put into that thing–everything was cut out perfectly and arranged with care. Whenever I thought about the incident later as an adult, I wondered if the kid became a serial killer or something later in life.
What I find interesting though is, if this was cabal related (I wouldn’t have thought it was if you hadn’t mention your own scrap book porn kid), why would he tempt me with something that didn’t appeal to me? Were they fishing for a certain type of kid and I wasn’t it? Is it possible that seeing those images, even in disgust, induced an effect on my psyche that they desired and were satisfied with?
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GATE kid here.
Most of the other kids were very well off. I was not. When we went from Elementary to Middle School, I ended up in a class where the teacher would teach things that were opposite of what the textbook would say. And would deny/punish if called out.
She brought in a “personal friend” to teach how gay people had sex. This was in the 90s so out of the ordinary then I think.
I also had a group of kids start a whispering campaign against me in 5th grade. The ringleader that did it now works as a Deputy District Attorney for a Soros DA in a major metropolitan area.
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So years later, an old memory comes forth.
It didn’t really register until AC related that early sexualization stuff. A new kid moved into my neighborhood before Middle School. He approached me about coming over and playing with our toys. And yeah I use the verb approach; there were about a dozen families worth of kids in my court alone and he came to me first. About halfway through the afternoon, his parents left and he talked me into going to his parents’ room where his dad had like 6 or 7 boxes of Penthouse and Hustler magazines. After looking through a few, I got bored and went back downstairs; he seemed mad at the time and shortly sent me packing. He invited me over a few more times and conveniently we had access to the magazines but I wasn’t interested; the invites stopped and we never hung out again.
I’ve honestly never thought twice about this until now. Thanks, AC :b
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re: GATE and porn distributing friends.
Background: I was in the “gifted and talented” program at elementary school. Only a few meetings that i recall. They wanted to send me to a ‘magnet school’ but i said no, and things went back to normal for me. Only thing I remember from the content of those meetings was being shown an illustration of the see-no-evil, hear-no-evil, speak-no-evil monkeys and being asked what i thought it meant. Not long after I began being homeschooled and was part of a homeschool group – an organized bunch of homeschooling families that did events together so kids could socialize, some co-op classes, etc.The kid: I was set up on a few “play dates” with this other kid my age. I assume at his parents’ urging my mom. Kid always rubbed me the wrong way. Had a lot of confidence, was engaged in buying and selling pokemon cards for profit as a pre-teen, learned golf early, later joined toastmasters, basically was given skills that would benefit him a good deal later on – but in our personal interactions it always felt like I was interacting with a facade even though i couldn’t quite pin down why. He always seemed like an obedient kid, almost goody two-shoes.
Porn: One day at his house, he shows me some printed out porn photos, i assume from the internet. I think it was the first porn i had ever seen. It was confusing to me – we had never talked about porn or sex or any of that, but he was showing me this. I was somewhere between 10 and 12 at the time, I’m pretty sure. There was no distribution, he just wanted me to see it.
Later on there was an older Jewish kid in my scout troop who was a role model for me, always responsible, funny, etc. On a camping trip some of the boys were looking at some similar printed porn photos, which was unprecedented and seemed weird to me to be looking at them like that as a group – my jewish friend admonished them, saying it was dumb to be looking at porn, or something to that effect. I felt inclined to agree, I had no real interest in porn and it seemed, for lack of a better word, degenerate. For whatever reason that trip i hadn’t felt like setting my own tent up and was sharing his since it was larger, and that evening he handed me a mayfair magazine with better quality photos than whatever the boys outside had had, and then went to sleep.
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Had a friend since 2nd grade who later molested me. It was a weird situation and I felt a lot of shame over it for a very long time, it’s even difficult writing about it now but i figure it’s part of my history and there’s not much that can be done about it. I was at least 13 years old at that point.
That’s all the childhood characters and events i can think of that come close to the model you describe. I did become a porn addict, I would say. It’s interesting though because while I do have a tendency to become addicted to some things, I know I also have the ability to go cold turkey because I have done it before with caffeine to try to fix feelings of depression as a teen. I’m also the most disciplined person I know when it comes to not eating things I view as poison. I also spend more time than is probably healthy doing other things that are domapmine sources like video games or watching silly videos online. I rationalize it in some ways by telling myself that my situation is such that I am using them to maintain emotional stability due to a lack of normal sources for that.
I hope my stories are of some use.
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A few comments on things that keep coming up here, including today.
Odd interactions in school — yep. Especially one in 8th grade when a guy I had never seen before tried to trip me and then challenged me to fight him right there in the school hall, acting like I was his worst enemy. There have been occasional other odd interactions in my life, but that one really sticks in my memory because of the guy’s anger.
Is GATE Gifted and Talented Education? It was TAG for me. The stories of going to a small room and reading about ancient Greeks and stuff but otherwise kind of useless… yep. Mine was in the same room as the Special Ed kids, because apparently in PA TAG was part of that.
The rushing water sounds and pulsing tinnitis sounds. I had the water last night and other times, but I sleep with foam earplugs and have thought it was the sound of my own blood flowing. But I’ve also had the odd pulsing recently, and also sounds like human voices on the threshold of hearing.
One night I was seeing a line in my vision with my eyes closed, like a CRT scan line, and there was a slight green glow. The line was moving from top of my vision down, and I was on my side so it was actually going sideways. I checked my Samsung A12 phone and found it was on. I thought I had turned it off, as I always do. I turned it off for sure, and the glow and scan line went away.
I don’t really see signs of daily surveillance, but after reading stories similar to mine on this site, I’m intrigued.
I was subject to two weird instances relating to porn when I was young. The first time I saw porn was at about 7-8 years old at a friends house. His father had a calender in the basement and my friend just brought me there and showed me. I thought it was weird and I knew I shouldnt look at it so I mostly ignored it. It is possible his dad is just irresponsible (other things indicate it), but it seems imprudent to have porn on the wall when your 8 year olds friend is there.
Less than 2 years later, my other friend got tons of porn from his brother. Mostly digital pics to my recollection, of a lewder nature than what you might find on a calender. I remember him showing them to me and repeatedly asking me if I thought is was cool. He offered me copies that I refused. Showed them to me for a few weeks straight. Then it gets really weird. My mom takes me aside and asks me about watching porn ect. I lie and say that I never saw any porn and she asks me again and I lied again. She then explained that my friends brother, the source of the porn, had emailed alot of it to my mom’s friend and that resulted in her questioning me. She then basically told me that it’s ok to watch porn so long as I understand that it is actors and not real love.How the hell that happened I have no idea. When I brought it up to her years later she outright denied saying that porn is ok. The whole thing has always sat wrong with me, this is mid 00’s where teens where better at computers than adults. In retrospect, I think a few of the actors might have been some kind of surveillance. I will add that I developed a porn addiction shortly thereafter. I will also note that although I am not very familiar with the GATE stuff, I do think I’m the type who would fit the profile. Take it for what it is, an anecdote.
>GATE experiences
I don’t know if it was called GATE or not, I didn’t tend to pay much attention to things like that in school and have always been bad with remembering names/titles/etc. But I did have a period in 4th grade where me and maybe 15 other kids from various classes were pulled out of normal classes and went into a windowless room for one period (hour and a half maybe) with a teacher who didn’t teach any other classes, or maybe he was a guidance counselor or something like that.
One aspect I will note is that this school was brand new; I was transferred there the first year it opened and had the GATE classes the next year, so it’s a core component of how the schools operate and they likely set them up as fast as possible.
Thinking back now, almost all the kids lived very close to me. Like 5 within walking distance of my house, the rest in the same (large) neighborhood or in directly adjacent (smaller) neighborhoods.
We spent most of the time watching “educational” videos about worms and composting, but they were always incredibly surreal. I don’t remember much about them specifically except for one part where worms were drag racing (cars, not trannies) for some reason, and there were some intermission sections where calm music would play over those trippy infinite zoom Mandelbrot patterns, and we would take short quizzes at the start and end of each session. They didn’t force us to pay close attention though; I don’t have a clear memory of everything because I thought it was boring and would doodle most of the time (in normal classes too).
On the last session, in the last week of the school year, there was supposed to be a big test in the class but my family had planned a vacation so I wasn’t going to be there for it. They got really persistent about me not missing the test, sending home letters to my parents every day with me, but I didn’t end up going. I didn’t notice anything abnormal the next year, but I did not have the class again.
I did end up getting rezoned to a really crappy middle school the year after that and had some issues with fighting, but nothing super odd. I went back to a very highly rated high school, ranking high even on a national level. There, I wanted to essentially take 100% AP classes if possible because that was the only level that was challenging. I was the only person I knew of who would add them to my schedule but end up getting placed into the lowest standard level, or even remedial level classes, 25% or so of the time. Probably intentionally trying to hold me back as you said before.
I’m thinking not paying attention during the GATE stuff culminating in skipping out on whatever that test was removed me from their program for messing up their data or something, and they tried to slip me by going to a crap middle school and then limiting my classes in high school.
>strange kids around age 10
This definitely fits my experience. Became friends with two kids who, by all reasonable standards, were legit sociopaths. First one was a military kid who moved a lot with his divorced dad, but there was no military base anywhere near where we lived. Second was what you mentioned, just a quiet, sort of shy, pretty normal appearing kid.
First kid would do crazy shit at sleepovers. When it was just him and me, he would turn on some show about the legal brothels wherever out west those were that his dad recorded. Mostly just boring documentary crap but also hardcore sex scenes mixed in. When multiple kids slept over he would wake up throughout the night and punch or kick people as hard as he could then pretend to be asleep, but never me. And I mean like 10 times a night, not once or twice, to the point where my other friends stopped hanging out with me when he was around. I knew I had to drop him at that point, and he moved away less than 3 months after I stopped hanging out with him.
Second kid (more normal one on the surface) would play air soft a lot as he lived near a huge park area. He and his brother would constantly pee everywhere in public when we were alone in the woods, and try to convince me to pee in a group with them. The weird thing was his brother could pee like 20-30 feet out, it was crazy. At sleepovers they would also turn on the soft core porn channels on pay-per-view, and I was always quite uncomfortable with that. We stopped being friends when I told people at school about it and he got really angry at me.
Multiple times at sleep overs / parties in my teens early twenties porn was shown. In the groups, it was everyone making fun of the nasty ass people on screen.
Don’t forget the cheater boxes for ripping off cable (free porn before internet porn). Spice channel available 24×7. I would bet that was another gateway path, just before the internet was ready to take it on.
Lots of movies in the 80s too (Nerds/Porkies/etc.). Take your pick.
Don’t forget napster and kazaa shit loads of porn on those file sharing apps.
Was sent a free Playboy subscription when I was in my early 20’s.Did some amateur racing in my 20s. All those guys had nude chick posters and shit. One black guy that raced against us had a fucking stripper pole in his trailer. Let alone the “2 in the pink 1 in the stink” slogan on the side of the trailer. Most of that crew would end up in the strip club later after the race.
Had a g/f (my narcissist) that ended up living off of me (using me). Then told me about this club where you work and you give massages to people (Epstein anyone? This was right around 2001-2004). She was going to get a job there till I told her that’s her path out the door with me. Then, she ended up going to work at a strip club. Gave me a dear John email (while still possessing one of my cars). Then put a fucking restraining order on me, when I came to get my car. I was smart though. I brought the police and she tried to assault me, when I came to get my stuff. She was in lalaland when the female judge put the fucking hammer on her ass. The judge saw straight through all the shit. The g/f’s dad divorced the mom. He “delivered” packages in a white van (unmarked). The mom worked for a retail outlet doing logistics.Couple side notes:
Oh and here’s a side topic. Someone in my family married for the second time. This second chick won’t have kids, but her sister does. Her dad? Was an engineer and then converted to becoming a IRS employee. Was also a member of the local Playboy club. Oh by the way, same person has created a rift in the family.I wonder how much of this is just dumb luck and bad decisions vs. some type of planned arrangement.
I absolutely found the nastiest porn mags in the woods beside the park by my house as a kid. I think it was the first time I realized there were male porn mags. As a little girl it was absolutely traumatizing. I went on to lead a pretty degenerate, hedonistic life before being saved by the Grace of Jesus Christ.
