An interesting post here by Bodi, a game enthusiast in the UK:
A daygamer is trudging round the city. This is supposed to be fun he thinks, so why does it feel so AWFUL? It’s his fifteenth set of the day. He jogs up to a girl, sighing. “Excuse me, I just noticed…” she cuts round him and walks off. How the hell do these guys do it? he wonders…
I discussed the issue with Gavin and we saw immediate parallels with daygame.
“There’s a guy on my team, he has no brain, never had a thought in his life. Can’t even hold a basic conversation. But he bills well because he does 50 calls a day and sends out 10 CV’s a day – far more than I can tolerate without having a nervous breakdown and feeling mind-raped. He has the same failure rate as everyone else (90%) but he has such low self awareness the failure rate and cheating of others doesn’t get him down. So he makes money off the times he is lucky which is more than me”…
“Me, on the other hand, I can’t do it. I get depressed and worn out. I only do well when I have a quality high level role where I have exclusivity and commitment. Now, the other guy can’t do these roles because he can’t build the relationships with the clients and candidates and doesn’t have the patience to go through the longer and more detailed recruitment process”…
Daygame appeals especially to R-strategists. To an R-strategist, discovering a pussy-machine at which you simply crank the handle to produce an endless stream of low-quality but acceptable pussy is all they need from life in one handy capsule. They take to it like ducks to water because like Kenny they suffer no emotional cost from doing it. Spam-approaching a thousand women and getting a couple of bangs with slutty 7’s for them is a great thing. For the K-strategist, it’s a horror. The K-strategist focuses on low volume, high quality, usually on everything in their lives. K–s are more likely to be vindictively precise engineers than they are salesman, and if they are salesman they’ll be headhunters.
r/K is infiltrating everywhere, even in areas where I had not foreseen the application.
First, game is vital in my opinion, to having a happy, long-lived marriage. That said, don’t mistake a good tool for a way of life.
Second, what I think people are dancing around is that r/K seems to relate somewhat to extrovert/introvert. Bill Clinton is an extrovert. Extroverts at the extreme end of the spectrum are energized by meeting people, approaching people, making jokes, and being the life of the party. When they are alone, they feel dead. Introverts at the extreme end, enjoy those lone moments, and find social interaction tiring. An introvert can sit watching a beautiful day at the beach forever, but would not enjoy having to host a party, and greet everyone who showed up.
I suspect extroverts are actually designed to maneuver socially, while introverts are designed to analyze quietly, stay off the radar, and produce success when they finally strike. I do not yet have any idea how it works, but I will bet there is one small tweak in the brain which shifts you one way or another.
If you are an introvert, you are going to be much happier in a stable relationship, than you will be clubbing and approaching every night. There is only so much cognitive remodeling you can do, and once you begin to hate something that you are forcing yourself to do, that is very hard to rewire out of your brain.
On game, I’m instinctually libertarian, so I am programmed to not judge anyone, unless they stick their nose in my life. I wouldn’t even judge liberals, if they weren’t telling everyone else to give them money to spend on feel-good bullshit, or surrender guns, or not eat meat, or some other crap.
So I don’t judge how guys choose to live life, or even assume I know anything about their circumstances. Maybe they live in a city with all r-girls. Maybe they need the experience of dating a full on crazy narcissist to drill home how important it is to find the right girl to marry. They are walking their path, and it is their business. I don’t care beyond pointing out I believe in God, and you might want to consider a faithful life because I think it is worthwhile. I, however, am not fit to judge.
But clearly some guys are designed for short term relationships, and some are not. Trying to be something you are not is going against the grain of your nature, and I would not recommend it any more than I would tell a straight guy he should live as a homosexual. Some guys are designed for monogamy and family, and the lives others choose will never be enjoyable for them. For those men, game is a great tool, but it will never be a lifestyle.
Finally the most interesting thing – I am beginning to notice an increasing “Sigma-like,” “Gives No Fuck” attitude creeping in everywhere on the online Alt-right/game/right-wing-trollopshere. Pick-up enthusiasts are rebelling at core tenets of game, like raw scoring stats as a measure of success, or even that guys should want a rotation. Alt-righters have given up on trying to persuade the old establishment Cuckservatives, and have decided they will just be replaced at the earliest convenience. The Alt-right-meme-builders on 4chan and other sites have adopted full White Nationalism, and occasionally even Nazi-memes, just because they are tired of being told they can’t support the idea of whites in-grouping and competing just as hard for advantage as any other race. Things are getting much more aggressive/competitive, IMO.
It is like everyone has gone to Alt-right university, absorbed all the data out there like good little students, graduated, looked at the loose-knit organizations that taught them, and said, “Fuck this, I know all this shit as well as anybody, now I’m going to do my own thing.” I almost think the best meme representing it would be Pepe the Frog, with two webbed middle fingers in the air, saying “Fuck you all!” Everyone has an unctuous desire to go their own way with the alt-right/red-pill truths they have absorbed, and ignore the older generation’s accepted norms.
This is the cognitive urge, which in the most K-form, manifests as puling the trigger on a competing group to kill them and take their stuff. It is a complete lack of desire to fit in, or try to adapt to the expectations of the broader societal group, combined with absolutely no care what other people think.
It is hard to believe that in less than eight years we went from electing Obama, to electing Trump, and we are getting this much aggression. Changing this much toward K-selection in attitudes is just incredible, considering there has been no real apocalypse yet.
I cannot fathom what it will be like in a real collapse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b86dzTFJbkc
A good listen.
[…] PUAs Are Heading K-selected Too […]
>>First, game is vital in my opinion, to having a happy, long-lived marriage
Could you explain this? Have you written a post on it? I’m not seeing the relationship. By all appearances being K-selected you are more into fidelity. I find the psychology of game illuminating although I can only look on in revulsion that people actually want to live that way. I am just not getting your oft-repeated statement that game is useful for marriage.
Men cannot understand the vast majority of women through simple projection of their own thinking processes. Women are often performing cognitive short-cuts to judge value, or as they would see it, attractiveness. They are also programmed to get worked up over things, as a test of their mates. By understanding the principles of game, men can keep their women happier, and navigate the normal emotional minefields of marriage which would normally produce arguments, fights, and the like.
So, your wife complains about something insignificant. If you take it seriously, and respond logically, trying to solve the complaint, you can watch as things spiral toward an argument, and a longer-term, festering unhappiness on your wife’s part. If you can spot that it isn’t actually important, and smart ass a witty repartee, you can watch the exact same thing turn into a funny outbreak of laughter and attraction on the part of your wife – without ever addressing the complaint.
Game, as in the skill of understanding how women enjoy interacting with men, can make a marriage way easier, and I strongly recommend a mastery of it.
I should be clear, when I say game, I am talking about the mechanical understanding, not the lifestyle of picking up girls in clubs for short term relationships, which would not be helpful.
Ahhh…That makes more sense. After 25 years of a mostly happy and sometimes tempestuous marriage it is probably a little late in the game to change the rules, but on the off chance that it isn’t — what is a good place to start for the K-selected married person who just wants to better understand female psychology?
It actually isn’t. Heartiste has had a lot of emails he has put up from husbands who began trying game, and were amazed how it worked to smooth over relationship bumps, and change the dynamics.
I opened Heartiste’s first post here, and began reading his entire site as it was written by just clicking on the next post link. When I finished a binge, I bookmarked the page I was on. It is addictive – he’s a good writer, and the material is alternates between funny, fascinating, silly, and gripping. I expect you’ll be gone from here for a good long time, but the material is important, and very useful.
Thanks! I’ll give it a go.
BTW I really enjoyed your R/K book and I’ve been checking your site daily for a few months now. It’s a bit “dark” and you seem a little too eager for the apocalypse, but I’m certainly not going to argue with your analysis. It certainly explains the seeming irrationality of the rabbits quite well — it is the *only* framework for understanding the insanity that is modern progressivism/liberalism that seems to cover all the angles. I was referred to your site from the Molyneux/Whittle discussion of R/K theory on youtube.
I’m glad you liked the book. It is a peculiar taste, mainly for the mechanism-oriented people.
I mainly goof on the site here, as I try to drill home r/K. I know the apocalypse won’t be fun, but things are so ridiculous, and government so intrusive these days, why not have fun with it?
On the other hand, if you wish to have success with “finding” and keeping a long-term wife — and you recognize that you’re not likely to find many women today of marriageable age who want this “submissive, STFU job” — so, let me recommend (any/all of) these books, which will help you UNDERSTAND (to some extent) how women operate from their feelings, and how you can lovingly manipulate them into a joyous *following* you as her mate!
Dr. Pat Allen: “Getting to I Do” (stupid title, great book. She also has a lot of recordings of her public sessions at her website: http://www.drpatallen.com/ )
(Rev.) Emerson Eggerichs: “Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs” (Brilliant, brilliant book; he balances science and religion to explain: “A wife has one driving need―to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need―to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy.”)
Alison Armstrong: “Keys to the Kingdom” — and any of her videos and audios files around the web. (I found, for myself, that Pat Allen was the 2×4 to the heart (and brain) I needed to wake up to relationship reality; and Alison was the smoothing touches on how to be a feminine woman with a masculine man. Alas, most modern women need the 2×4 first, because the brainwashing is so damned deep and pervasive!!
John Townsend: “What Women Want – What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently”
Danielle Crittenden: “What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman” (she’s married to that 100% PoS (((Frum))); but this (one) book of hers is excellent)
Steven E. Rhoads: “Taking Sex Differences Seriously”
(cont. next:)
I was a shrill feminist through my 20s into my 30s (for which I apologize deeply to all men!). (Not the catting-around type; just the hating-men type: bad enough!) When I was 41, at the same time I found Pat Allen’s book (which resonated strongly with my “I don’t want to be a feminist” feelings), and met a man, a warrior, a traditional (non-religious; 46-yr-old) man. Through his loving firmness — and strong boundaries about respecting him, with which I had no experience! — and through my own study and research (and running a dating,mating,marrying advice list) — I allowed him to (as he put it) “tame his feral female.”
I *WANTED* to become the woman he wanted me to be. He ‘turned’ me from feminism to wife; real wife — wife who graciously spoke her requests to him and accepted his decisions. He warmly and lovingly acceded to as many of my requests as met HIS management of our lives together, and I followed him happily till he died at 60. (But, he had to ‘lead’ me to fall in love with him first, and THEN ‘tame’ me! I had to have a reason to finish awakening! Loving him was the reason for me to tentatively accept, and then come to understand and live by, his views on the world — you know — REALITY!)
Women WANT to follow a strong man, but in the modern day, (unless moslem {frown}), there must be an aspect for men of cherishing the woman (we’re feelings-based: see Alison Armstrong!) and *leading* her into the right kind of relationship. Y’all are NOT going to find one ‘ready-made, you’re going to have to ‘make one’ of your own! Worth doing, hard to do. But unless you want to marry a 10-yr-old, it will be easier to find (a clean, healthy, intelligent) one you can ‘turn,’ than one ready-made!
Wishing you men all the patience and luck it takes to find and ‘recover’ your mate!